internships

[taken in new york city in june of 2012] 

 The idea of doing an international internship has appealed to me for quite some time, with a few drawbacks.

My reservations have always centered around a few key points:

1. They just plain don't interest me. I am all for going for the experience of living abroad, but if it's not going to help my career at all I have a hard time committing myself to the application process, especially because..

2. They cost money. I get it. Especially the living and airfare and all those costs. I GET that those won't be paid for. But you aren't even paid for your work. Which is a tough spot to be in if you have to pay for accommodations and airfare and all of that. It sort of emphasizes my theory that the rich remain rich and educated because they can afford opportunities. Another rant for another day.

BUT today, I finally found it. The holy grail of international internships. It does still cost money (a whopping $15,000, in fact... mostly to make sure that you can afford your accommodations though), but my interest has finally been peaked.

The organization? CANADEM. (yes, in capitals.)

Why? To start with, it is partially funded through the Canadian government and seems to be a pretty legitimate company. I guess you can never know these things for sure, but I do have a bit more trust in a company that is legitimate enough to have a link on the Government of Canada website and have a Wikipedia page.

Also, the internships interest me! Oh my gosh do they ever interest me! They are in countries that interest me! (Peru, Indonesia, Italy, Vietnam, to name a few) They are with organizations that interest me! (IDLO, UNDP!) Their slogan "Don’t get lost in that all too familiar catch 22: "You need experience to get experience." resonates so strongly with me. Ever since I started working I've lamented that I can never work in the fields that I want because I don't have the experience and I cant get experience if nobody will hire me. And while a non-paid internship might not be the most high-quality work experience, I feel like saying you worked for the United Nations Development Programme in Indonesia, even for only 6 months, might have some weight on your resume. And if it doesn't, you only live once.

This is an experience that is worth it. I finally have a goal in mind. I have something to save up for. My only lament now is how to strategize saving $15,000 with keeping my sanity and continuing to pay off my student dept (and to continue doing so while being away).

Baby steps.

thoughts on purpose

Sometimes I wonder what the purpose of this life is. I'm sure most people have these thoughts at some stage of their life. I mean, really, what is the purpose to anything at all? To earn money? To what end? To what purpose? To buy things, to be happy, to travel? Why do these things make people happy? What is happiness?

Too deep? Maybe it's just me. But recently these thoughts have been preoccupying me.

As a result, I'm trying to figure out what the purpose of my life should be. Not conclusively, of course. But I like to have goals to work towards. And while I may always continue to have these thoughts about the purposeless of it all, I really do want to try and figure out what is out there that everybody is so intent on living for.

I think the first stage is to figure out those things that I enjoy. I know that I enjoy photography. I know that I enjoy travel. And I know that I enjoy relationships and the feelings of love and affection. I love to learn but I don't particularly enjoy education. I enjoy being productive but I don't love working in an office. I want my life to have some impact on this world but I don't want to research or enter politics.

So where does this leave me?

I'm still not entirely sure. But maybe, slowly, I can put some of this together. The relationship will come on it's own time. I've realized that these things happen organically and that there isn't much that I can really do in this regard. At least not in this moment. But photography and travel? These loves seem to go hand and hand. What is better to do than photograph the world as you see it?

I guess all that really remains, is how to combine those loves (and hopefully the first too) into a productive endeavour. People have done it but I'm hesitant to follow in somebody else's footsteps. While that path may be easier, it is also far more saturated. I have yet to figure out what exactly I can do to make these dreams come true, but I am confident I will figure it out.

thoughts on working abroad

[taken july 8, 2011 in berlin, germany]

Recently I've been contemplating the idea of living and working abroad. It's always an idea that has been at the back of my mind. As somebody that loves travel, how cool would it be to essential travel as a job? Not really, obviously. Unless you were a flight attendant. Which I would also love to do and have considered extensively. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem possible at the time being with my lack of French language skills. Perhaps the only burden of being a Canadian is the inherent necessity to know both English and French. Which is difficult later in life. Sometimes I wish I had planned out my University studies better and included some French language training for myself. Alas.

So many options seem possible, and yet all so difficult and far away at the same time. I'm finding it especially difficult to try and co-ordinate some sort of cohesive plan.

I can't leave until at least May, when I'm finished school. But my work contract doesn't officially end until July, and it seems awkward to ask for references when you're still under contract to work for an employer. Also, my current lease doesn't expire until September. It seems burdensome to pay rent for a place where you aren't even living. Subletting would be difficult too, as a primary contact between the landlord and house.

Also, the endless possibilities are slightly overwhelming. On one hand, the entire world is open to me. On the other, much of it is closed off due to lack of relevant education and/or experience. I could teach English in Korea, but this doesn't appeal to me for any real reason other than the ability to travel within Asia. I would love to work in Europe, namely Germany, but my primary skill of English fluency isn't exactly in short demand there.

I'm sure something will work out, but it's really difficult being in this limbo of not being able to figure out what may work.

my reading resolution

I hate New Years resolutions.

99% of the time they remain unfulfilled and only serve to remind me of how much I suck at finishing things or sticking to goals.

Every year I say it will be different. Every year it's the same.

This year I'm forcing myself to stick to a few.

I WILL BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE.

The few that I am holding myself accountable to will be easy and achievable. Therefore, they will be achieved. Right?

1. I will read more. I'm finally figuring out a schedule for myself and I'm going to make sure time to read is in that schedule. My goal will be to read at least 2 books per month. That is 24 books in one year. That is 100% achievable. Ideally I would like to read even more, but lets not go crazy here.

2. I will blog more. Not for any real purpose. I am not going to blog so that other people will read things that I write. I will not blog because I'm attempting to enter into any sort of business arrangement or gather followers. I will blog because I want to force myself to write and to record. I don't keep a diary or anything like that (and this won't become one), but I would like some sort of record of events to look back on. Again, I want to keep things simple. My goal is to blog at least 2 times per week. That seems like a reasonable and achievable number.

3. I want to shop more wisely. I'm the type of person that likes having things. I buy clothes because they're cheap and 'okay', not because they're quality and loved. I want to change this. I want to start filling my life with quality loved items that will last me and stay in rotation. I'm at an age where I know what I like. It shouldn't be difficult to start filling my life with those items.

That is it. Three resolutions. Three attainable resolutions.

I can do this, guys.

new york city in the fall, part two

On our second day in NYC, we decided to grab some breakfast in Williamsburg. We took the train down to Bedford Avenue and looked for a place to eat. I might have wanted to go to Allswell again, but alas, it wasn't open yet when we got there and we were too hungry to wait. After wandering around for what seemed like forever we found Bakeri, and oh my gosh am I glad we did. I couldn't have loved a place more. We got what seemed like the only table in the place and I enjoyed a cappuccino and a raspberry pistachio muffin (seriously the BEST muffin I have ever had in my entire life). Water came in an antique glass whiskey jar. So cute. So so so cute. It was pricey, as most independent cafes are, but it was so worth it.



Afterwards we headed to SoHo, where we just wandered and shopped. It was lovely and I was too busy checking out all the shops to take any pictures. We eventually got hungry again and took the train across the river to Grimaldi's, under the Brooklyn Bridge. We met some guys at Grimaldi's and ended up walking back to the financial district across the Brooklyn Bridge with them. We split up at the other end, but it was a nice walk.



Sarah and I had tickets to the 9/11 Memorial so we went and picked those up and after a marathon session at Century 21 we made our way over to the Memorial. It was lovely. I don't think it could have been any more well done. The long lines and security sucked but it moved quickly enough... and was fairly understandable given the location. Tickets are free, they just have to be reserved in advance.



We then headed back to the hostel to freshen up before heading to the East Village to watch the American foreign policy debate (yay for election season) in a bar. It was surprisingly hard to find a bar that was airing the debate, but we managed it and even got seats. Afterwards we met up with the guys from Grimaldi's again and had a couple drinks.

All in all, another fantastic day in New York City.